will i pursue it or not?
that's what keeps running in my mind right now. actually,it's not a big problem that i'm experiencing right now. it's not a problem at all. there's just some people( and i'm of of them)who makes simple things in lif so complicated. --truth hurts and i'm not used to it.
decisions... is it really hard to do? why is iit difficult for me to make a decision between these two choices-- to settle for less or to go for more; will i stay to this same unit which i had learned to love and be contented about it or transfer to another unit coz i think this is the stepping stone of my dream career as a nurse?
the truth is i'm just afraid to take risks and to start all over again. my mind is full of WHAT IFs. my mind is full of negative thoughts. what if i'm wrong about my decision? what ifi regret this? what if it's better than the other? i'm just afraidif the outcome is different from what i've been expeting. am i playing safe? i think so? not taking risks even just this onc. YES, i am playing safe.
now i know why there's a lot of WHAT IFs in my mind and here's my conclusion. actually its not about being scared to commit mistakes and it's also not about being a failure. it's all about being scared to judged and being compared to others.
another truthful and hurtful realization... i don't know myself well enough to know my capabilities and strengths.. all i see is my weakness. and most of all i don't trust myself. coz if i do, i don't have doubts in my mind now. truth hurts and still i'm not used to it.
i know that these WHAT IFs will lead me to nowhere. it will hinder me from growing and will stop me from fulfilling my dreams. and most of all it will teach me nothing in life.
so, what will it be? will i settle for less or will i go for more?
the decision is still mine to make.
========
dhee
decisions... is it really hard to do? why is iit difficult for me to make a decision between these two choices-- to settle for less or to go for more; will i stay to this same unit which i had learned to love and be contented about it or transfer to another unit coz i think this is the stepping stone of my dream career as a nurse?
the truth is i'm just afraid to take risks and to start all over again. my mind is full of WHAT IFs. my mind is full of negative thoughts. what if i'm wrong about my decision? what ifi regret this? what if it's better than the other? i'm just afraidif the outcome is different from what i've been expeting. am i playing safe? i think so? not taking risks even just this onc. YES, i am playing safe.
now i know why there's a lot of WHAT IFs in my mind and here's my conclusion. actually its not about being scared to commit mistakes and it's also not about being a failure. it's all about being scared to judged and being compared to others.
another truthful and hurtful realization... i don't know myself well enough to know my capabilities and strengths.. all i see is my weakness. and most of all i don't trust myself. coz if i do, i don't have doubts in my mind now. truth hurts and still i'm not used to it.
i know that these WHAT IFs will lead me to nowhere. it will hinder me from growing and will stop me from fulfilling my dreams. and most of all it will teach me nothing in life.
so, what will it be? will i settle for less or will i go for more?
the decision is still mine to make.
========
dhee
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